The news of Ope’s planned wedding was a quite invited one. At 31, she’d traversed the routine marriage age for young ladies and bit by bit hitting the single and looking classification. As large close relatives, a considerable lot of us were at that point inquisitive about her status and never neglected to get some information about the “bobo” at whatever point the open door gave itself. Thus, when we got the instant message, welcoming us to the Introduction service, I was elated. Ope’s day of greatness was at that point somewhat past due, so it called for extraordinary thanksgiving and I was certain that her mom, a Lagos socialite by each principles will leave no stones unturned to make the functions as noteworthy and significant as could be expected under the circumstances.
Be that as it may, the response I got when I rang her to salute her and discover points of interest for the wedding took me zoned out. It was not the kind of response I had anticipated that would get from her bubbly mum. Toward the end of her short discourse, my soul sank as well. What’s more, however she didn’t give full subtle elements of why the service must be a little and calm one, I knew it was not for absence of assets, in light of the fact that there was no increase saying that she would profit from the wedding than she would spend setting up the great and spectacular appear.
A few individuals are that honored by the decay (debasement) of the Nigerian culture and Ope’s mum is one of them. All in all, what could the matter be? I was by all account not the only inquisitive one yet since we all couldn’t think of a sensible reason for such a choice, we chose that our inquiries must be replied after the Introduction function. Also, kid, did we get answers?
The Introduction turned out a smaller than expected wedding held in their compound. All the wedding customs including cake cutting, trade of rings and the customary wedding endowments were performed. Why the secretive? That Ope was obviously pregnant was insufficient purpose behind this rushed bundling and shooing off like an outsider! In any case, a gander at the man of the hour and the individuals who went with him as family and companions was sufficient to tell anybody that all was not well. It was an instance of ‘na just you waka come?’ as one could check the quantity of his group on the fingertips and still have a couple cleared out.
He neither had a father or mother, nor any individual who could remain in as illustrative of the crew. He just had two folks later distinguished as his companions. Each time somebody from his side of the family expected to talk, it was finished by one of his companions joined by a gathering of Ope’s companions. Toward the end of the function, a considerable lot of us cleared out feeling appalled by the show of disgrace. Why didn’t she simply pack into his home? It would have been exceptional than this ke!
In that spot, bits of gossip started making rounds, giving replies, right or manufactured, to the inquiries on everybody’s lips. The fellow was not precisely single but rather accessible. Ope would be wife or lady number three. His first wife lives in Ibadan with their two youngsters. In any case, he additionally had another lady in Abuja who had a tyke for him while he was working there. He didn’t wed the lady. He met Ope through a common companion and offered her marriage.
Is Ope excessively old, making it impossible to get a perfect and conventional gentleman? I had dependably thought about her as an extremely wise and focussed young lady. With a decent second degree and occupation, she had great life in front of her. I never knew she could succumb to such a shoddy trick. For it was clear to me that this marriage was a trick. These kind of folks are everywhere, misleading young ladies off their cash and denying them of chances to lead tolerable, respectable and cheerful lives. Large portions of these folks present themselves as semi single folks who have had crude arrangements in the hands of their life partners.
They concoct a few spurious stories about their wives and how the ladies have sold out them somehow, or how the ladies have neglected to satisfy desires as wives and moms. Now and then, the stories could be about their in-laws and how they have kept them from living in amicability with their supposed irritated companions. What’s more, since they live alone and are liable to nobody about their development, their preys (the new ladies and casualties) fall level for these stories and start to consider themselves to be the right individuals to fill the crevices in these men’s lives. I have even known about stories of how a few folks have tricked ladies out of their customary ranges of familiarity, including relational unions, into these traps by making them trust that they have otherworldly powers or some uncommon endowments that could turn the life of these ladies around for the better just by being in their organization. (sho!)
The more you look, the less you see, they say. In the same vein, the more you stay in the organization of these men, the less sensible and judicious you get to be in your judgment. Some of them now and then slide as low as stage overseeing occasions to befuddle and persuade their casualties, while some receive otherworldly powers and controls to bind them. On the off chance that you look sufficiently hard, you will find the fine points of interest and example in the majority of these connections. All that really matters is cash! A number of these folks are not as rich and agreeable as they present themselves to be.
They are exploring so as to try to add to their fortunes their masculinity and masculinity, and they realize what ladies need. By and large, cash will trade hands over the span of the connections. The ladies will give of their cash under the appearance that they are boosting his business, or give the stage to him to profit through them or off them. When he is done, he proceeds onward to his next casualty who is wealthier or better situated to get him what he wants next. Along these lines leaving a trail of candidly damaged and semi single ladies after them, each, grasping a youngster or two in their chests as increase for their speculations.
I have reached the conclusion that all ladies are simple with regards to associations with the inverse sex and sooner or later in our lives we show this guilelessness. How low a lady falls will however be dictated by the circumstances encompassing the relationship. That is the reason even the best of ‘Stanford Wives’ will fall for their youngsters, jacks of all trades, staff and makes a difference. On the off chance that this were not really, a hefty portion of the ladies who fall for these kind of folks would not be found in their organization not to talk of having private associations with them.
These are instructed, clever ladies with sound and substantial wellsprings of occupation and can hold their own particular even amongst men. Be that as it may, actually every lady needs to be informed that she is wonderful and a resource for a man. Each lady, regardless of how exceedingly set, canny or rich, aches for a man and home of her own. How they get them is the thing that characterizes them as prudent ladies of trustworthiness.
I am not against polygamy. Nor am I against separation. For both are covered in lip service and lies in our Nigerian culture. Every man to his own particular cross and God for all of us. Let no man cast slanders and stones at another, even as his own particular defect stinks to the sky. Nonetheless, what is being drilled here is neither polygamy nor separate yet unethical behavior that is degrading the ethics of family life and parenthood. What this way of life is making is a chain of young ladies who are neither hitched nor single and are being compelled to bring up their kids alone, (twofold wahala for deadi body ala Fela Anikulapo Kuti) while the men bump from bed to bed, sowing their wild oats all over the nation. We ladies must figure out how to sparkle our eyes at all times, particularly when folks come creeping with insane pain SOS stories and a disconnected way of life.
Following three years of conjugal life tormented with intense betrayal disorder and a chain of fizzled joint endeavors swallowing a huge number of Naira, including some she acquired from her mom, ‘fine kid’ darted with another lady leaving Ope in the adoration home they imparted to her two kids by him. She lost it when he allegedly advised her to allow him to sit unbothered and tend to her kids such as each ordinary lady he knows would do. He was said to have asked her to genuinely look at her life if for sure she lost anything from their brief relationship, instead of increase.
All things considered, he gave her marriage, a name and two kids! Had he not taken compassion on her, she would presumably still be single and childless at 35! (Truly?) To exacerbate matters, Ope as of late discovered that ‘fine kid’ in spite of shacking up with lady number four is still all that much in contact with his first gang. Tune, 28, common hireling would have fallen for the same trick yet for her curiosity. A couple of weeks after the ‘presentation function’, she chose she should seek his telephone. Her suspicion was originated from the way that he’d distinctly requested that her never do as such as he abhors ladies who pry. She said the photos she saw of him and his wife and kids were all as of late taken, as opposed to the stories he’d informed her concerning his association with them.
She chose to trust in her mom who won on her dad that they venture in. The father on hearing had declined to divert any story, demanding that Carol made her issue and should stew in it. At long last, darling kid was summoned to a meeting where the truths of his conjugal status were exhibited before him and a notice that he gazes clean up Carol. She was fortunate to have left with just a few hundred thousands as loss. There is most likely no chance one can decide how love will come or who one will become hopelessly enamored with. However, cherish that tries to devastate another adoration, advance scattering and needs ideals and honesty is not love. Intimate romance won’t bring about you agony and tears. Do have a great weekend!