An Open Letter To All Nigerian Boyfriends (For Valentine)

Dear Nigerian sweethearts

We trust that you and your ATM card are getting prepared for Sunday?

In no specific request, beneath are a rundown of things we WOULD NO LONGER acknowledge as Valentine day


1. BBM BC’s

2. Whatsapp BC’s

3. BBM PM Shoutouts

4. Instagram Woman Crush Sunday.

5. Sentimental sms aside from it is went with a credit caution.

6. Card: Soft and printed versions. This is not pertinent to energize cards. It would be ideal if you take note of the s.

7. Leaves/Flowers: Fresh, elastic, dried, scented, unscented, cooked and uncooked.

8. Fragrances from an anonymous fashioner: That sort that stains fabric and produces rashes.

9. Shoddy gems made out of copper, steel, zinc and iron.

10. Shoddy chocolates.

11. Rice and Chicken in Mr Biggs nylon. In any case, while we are as yet putting something aside for your Bentley, we expect that you’d get your normal valentine pack of a cloth, a

singlet and a boxer with true thankfulness as these three things hints a profound implying that

has more esteem than silver and gold.

A white cloth implies appreciation. We are in a roundabout way apologizing for every one of the times we made you sweat and saying thanks to you for staying with us.

All the awesome things you could utilize your cloth for You young men never have more than three singlets.

This is the reason we continue including another a seemingly endless amount of time.

We wouldn’t be giving you briefs/boxers on the off chance that we haven’t visualize a future with you. We think about your body and the bundling of

conceptive organs.

Additional items of ties and sleeve buttons, who doesn’t care for an immaculate man of honor?

Notwithstanding the above, you are required to watch the accompanying guidelines from now till fifteenth February.

– You are not permitted to take any one week off the cuff outing to the town to visit your uncle’s sibling spouse. No fake business trips! No vanishing demonstrations!

– You are informed not to fake any structure with respect to fatal ailment or disorder. Be cautioned.

– No terrible telephone, awful system, awful battery, telephone speaker is awful, control catch is not working reasons.

– No ‘ATM is not working or card has been blocked’ reasons. You have from now till Friday to enlist your BVN.

– You are encouraged to expand your resilience level for every one of our abundances. No ‘we ought to go on a

break’ ‘I am the only one to blame here’ or ‘I have been pondering this relationship’ discourse will be


– Third administration, fourth administration, supplication to God meeting, youth meeting and fasting MUST NOT be utilized

as a reason come Sunday the fourteenth.

If it’s not too much trouble go to particular gatherings. We thank you ahead of time for comprehension.


By @Naijasinglegirl,

For the benefit of lady friends

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