The concluding part below:
- Women Always Claim They Love Maturity – What they are implying by that is they want to Date men.
But the definition of man becomes clouded because any person can define what a man is according to his understanding and learning. What matters is what women mean when they say men. So that definition of a man is a guy who is:
1. Stable:
Now, this doesn’t mean you have to be financially stable at the very moment you are talking to her, you have to be a millionaire or working at Facebook, NO! Its the vibe they get from you, which can be described as dutifully ambitious. Every body is ambitious, only a few take it seriously. Are you focused, aiming for big things, how confidence and obsessed and sure you are towards your goal. That’s called mental stability.
2. Self Respecting:
This means you stand up for your ideas, are not afraid to disagree, are not afraid to call out bullshit, and respect your life. Only when you respect yourself, the requirement for others to respect you arises. Most guys are never able to convey to girls that they have respect for themselves, and the simple reason for that is – people simply don’t think about two things: Who am I? How do people see me? These two simple things brings self awareness into your life.
How many times have you actually cared to think: who are you and what impression do people form of you after meeting you? The truth is, we take self respect for granted, ‘I am so cool in my eyes, clearly I deserve respect from everybody‘. And that makes you a child, if I asked you right now, why should I respect you? You would not be able to come up with a straight answer that has meaning to it, not lingering self doubt. And that’s what women notice too when they talk to you.
I am not saying that women don’t date such guys, they do very frequently, but that image of you stays in her mind. And the day she meets a guy who is self respecting, challenges her notions, and appears mature to her, he will satisfy that requirement you never could, ultimately creating attraction.
3. A Streak Rebellion:
One of the basic requirement to attract any girl is to appear interesting. The image of you in her mind should consist of this word. Women in their minds strongly judge guys on how they make them feel. And if the word she thinks of you is interesting, then the emotion you are going to make her feel is excited, because women largely derives excitement from mental stimulation.
What every guy basically tries to be is thoughtful, considerate, kind! Basically: I am the fairest, nicest guy on the planet. I understand and respect everything. This person is every guy’s choice because it’s safe. You are projecting the right behavior, you want to show you are a nice guy. Nice is not interesting, nice is pleasant and cordial, but it’s not adding that want in her to talk to you for hours and hours more. You know why? Because every nice thought you have and are presenting to her, she already thought of those, heard them, and is selling the same poo back to you by agreeing with you. It’s nothing new.
What do you like to watch on TV? Shows based on some old storyline you have watched before, or something new? We love shows that make us think, that are out of the ordinary, characters that rebel, are not reminiscent of people around you, for example, people love Jack Bauer because of his different outlook on life, human behavior, philosophy, even though it comes at the expense of hurting other characters feelings.
He goes against the norm, does what is necessary at the detriment of everyone around him, yet you, as the viewer you love him and never categorize him as a jerk, because you are presented with his point of view. Now try to understand what I am saying here, I am not saying you become Jack Bauer, and I am also not asking you to become a jerk. People always want something new and people love those new things to stimulate their minds, make them think differently.
Lets takes the example of jerks, a jerk can be something new that is simply rude and unpleasant, but after a while it wont be new anymore too, and your jerk-ness would simply become offensive behavior to which no human being takes a liking. It’s a huge misconception that girls like abusive jerk assholes, because that’s your point of view of that guy, and that very well could be the personality of the guy, but if he is able to easily court women, charm them, and is popular amongst them, then trust me, you are yet to find out what aspect of his unorthodox behavior he is presenting to them.
In simple words, you know who that guy is from your personal interactions, you don’t actually know what his game is with women. You are judging him based on his evil motives but you are clueless as to how he does it. And the ‘how‘ most definitely is not calling her up and simply being outright rude and brutish, no women takes it. Do you know how many options any woman has at all times in her life? No woman is prepared to, nor bear abuse from one guy because she has to. They will dump you immediately. Try doing that with the girl you are dating right now or your girlfriend, and notice how promptly she stops talking to you.
Women will always have the upper hand in terms of dating, simply because they win the number of members of the opposite sex dying to be with them. What you never cared to find out is the tactics guys whom you call jerks employ! For example, a very common tactics is holding back all approval one gives to a girl, and them drop it bit by bit in a manner which makes her feel as if she is earning it.
Basically, you are saying the very things every guys says to her, but you make it seem as if she has to work for that, and this create a huge psychological difference. To create a similar effect, here’s an alternative: In your conversations whenever she tells you something about her, ask her questions that expand that topic at hand, such as, why do you believe that? What made you accept that?
Two great things happen when you start questioning her decisions, choices a bit deeper, one, you are talking about her, which is something she likes because of self interest. Two, you are making her go off script, what I mean by that is, usually people have recorded answers to general questions or details about their past because they have answered or talked about the same thing many times before. By asking something that pushes deeper than the script, you make them slightly defenseless, the conversation grows more personal, and you also start getting a glimpse of how they think.
4. Lone Wolf: Yes! Women are attracted to guys who are complete.
That doesn’t mean you are always alone, don’t have friends , are very dark, brooding, or simply hate the world. What that means is you are a man who is not trying to fix himself, or worse, doesn’t know how to fix himself. This is why, ‘I am so broken and alone‘ playing sympathy card doesn’t work. That too will land you in the friend-zone. Friend-zone because women love dramatic and emotional content, and generally have caring nature, so she will listen to your bullshit and empathized. But in her subconscious, the idea man is not who needs fixing.
This also explain why a lot of guys complain that their girl friends or partners try to change them a lot, this happens because even though she has decided to date you, she still isn’t willing to let go that idea image of the man in her head, and clearly you don’t fit that. So almost imperceptibly she starts getting annoyed with your certain habits, friendship, and behaviors in the name of immaturity.
Immaturity is the keyword which she will always use to express her annoyance. In all fairness, she is not lying, she actually believe she’s doing you a favor by trying to change you not realizing she is acting purely out of her imagined subconsciously created notion of what an idea man is, and you are not that guy in her life yet.
Lone Wolf implies not somebody abandoned, not a sufferer, but a guy who doesn’t need people to complete. Now you might wonder why them would such a guy look for a girlfriend. Another question you might be wondering is, if that guy is not the idea man she wants, why would she even decide to date him?
What women see when they meet such a personality is signs of maturity, dominance, self belief, and stability. A lot of guys live under the impression that girls become more interested in guys who have lots of friends, interesting friend circle and with the whole Bro dynamics. The truth is, girls find the whole Bro thing very fascinating. But just because she likes to hear the Bro stories of your goons, does not mean by even 1% that, that is improving your position in her mind.
How guy see it is, she is laughing at these stories, clearly we are having a good time, therefore, I am forming a deeper connection with her. NO! She is laughing because your stories are fulfilling her need for entertainment because frankly, Bro stories are simply hilarious. There are only two possible outcome from here: one, either she will be satisfied with her dose of entertainment and move on, or two, she would secretly get envious and try to become a part of the group, which if she tried, she will succeed, because you will vouch for her.
And once she does, you would be rendered useless. The third imaginary possibility that she would date you because you have cool friends would never happen because showing that you have cool friends will never get you a date, on the contrary, what it tells the other person is, you are so uncool that you use your association with cool people in order to appear cool. It’s actually perceived as a weakness because instead of selling your individual achievement and qualities, you wasted your time selling your friends circle. And once she penetrates into your group with your help, she is going to date one of your friends, because all this while, you have been getting her excited about one of those guys from your stories.
If you want the girl to date you, own her laughs, if she is laughing at a story, but you’re not the hero of the story, you’re digging your own grave.
5. Happiness.
Women like guys who make them happy. Let’s consider two words: Excitement and Fun. She needs to feel these two keywords whenever she is in contact with you. Why? Because generally life is boring, including the lives of the people around her. This part about happiness to be honest is superficial, nobody has their poo together, you are just like everybody, but unfortunately appearances in dating rank higher than reality.
So don’t talk about your poo, you are not sad, not distressed, not a normal person, instead you’re a bundle of joy! Whenever you pick her call, switch off the part in your brain which says: your problems. The reason why this work is, her brain registers your presence as a source of happiness. What later happens is, whenever she is bored, in stress, or looking for a bit of excitement, her brain automatically reminds her of you, which makes her call you, hang out with you, and so forth.
6. Patience
This is a problem with almost every guy I have seen trying to court a girl. They just want everything to happen the next day, or in the next hour. The trick of getting a girl is making her want you, and the first step to that is by removing any and all desperation. If you are texting her every hour, trying desperately to create conversations, flirting continually, you are reducing your chances of ever getting her genuinely interested.
There are two reasons patience is important for your mental health and in dating:
A girl is not the end of your life. I get it, you are excited, interested, and contemplating that she might be the one. If it is such a huge thing, shouldn’t you step back a little, and really think about it? I am sure you have other things in your life too, which you are disregarding right now because of the entry of this new person. One reason behind patience is to maintain your mental stability, stay on your feet, don’t go haywire.
Test it out, if you don’t text her for a day, does she text you? Think about what you have learned about her from your conversations, is it really what you want? Are you sure that her personality wouldn’t cause any problems in your life? Be mature. Don’t ever go in a relationship because your mind is overclouded with sex. In these breaks, get to know the real nature of your feelings, discover your honest intentions, are you just pursuing this for sex? Is it because you are desperate to have a girlfriend?
Or maybe there is a compatibility. Whatever answers you find, accept them, and then make your next moves. A lot of guys get into relationships solely because of how hot she is! There is nothing wrong with that motivation, but if her hotness is all that attracts you, then maybe look for sexual relationship than a romantic one. By doing that, you save not only years of your life, but also save yourself from agonizing break-ups.
You’re not desperate
You are stable, you are not crazy about her, and you have a life. It also give her the time to think about you. And when she thinks about you, she not only becomes more interested in talking to you again, she also ponders about the conversations with you, and from that, she gets more questions, which indirectly get her more interested in you. And this really happens in case you’re pursuing an intelligent woman. When smart women find someone interesting, they subconsciously start scanning if there are deal breakers with this guy. So believe me, she is going to pay extra attention to your ideologies, your way of thinking, are you judgmental, how open minded are you, so on and so forth. How am I sure of this?
Two reasons, one, because of that subconscious idea image of man women get attracted to. I wrote about this here. Second reason, you have to consider the possibility that she has had a bad relationship. The same applies to you as well, but this is where men and women differ in their approach, men who have been hurt before and now have found someone new tend to fix their broken hearts by being extra attentive and extra loving.
Their approach unknowingly become achieving finality as soon as possible. They want it to happen quickly, as a result, they give their all, because in their heads, they are on the mission to prove I am the right guy. And the way they do it is not by patience, but by showing how upstanding, caring, loving, and perfect I am for you. So to prove that, the level of love a guy showers upon the girl, the attention, the care just skyrockets. And doing so, guys leave everything aside and become obsessed.
Now women don’t work like that. If her trust has been broken in the past, a smart woman will take a lot of time. Women’s approach is building finality gradually in time. And this really annoys women about guys as they are unable to understand that. The way guys see it is logically, if I fit the bill, why are you not giving me all your love? What is this patience nonsense! I have proved to you that I am the perfect guy, what else do you want me to do, just say it, define it so that I can do it and win your heart completely.
Men’s emotions in a compact phrase would be: ‘be mine‘. Whereas women have a very self protecting nature. Do they still make mistakes, date the wrong guys? Hell yeah. They are humans. What’s important for you is to understand how they think.
7. Be Willing to Kick a Woman Out of Your Life at Any Point
Now I am not asking you to be rude and disrespectful, this is a mindset. What do I mean by this? At any point during trying to impress a girl, always be fully prepared to accept that this might not work out, therefore I am not going to dive into this head-in. Obviously, if you are simply unable to do this, you lack maturity and are too desperate and your self esteem will be torn apart by the rejections that will come your way.
Why am I suggesting you this? Because women have the same mindset. Their mindset is built because they have too many options, which is why they don’t attach themselves to every guy they talk to, and very frequently reject, delete and block guys without any conversation. You need to build this mindset, firstly, because you must invest your time and energy only with the most suitable candidate, and not every girl that texts you back.
Secondly, when you start implementing this, you discover that girls automatically start taking more interest in you. Call it reverse psychology but this works. I believe this works because you’re the only one who is not running after her, and that turns her on. You’re patient, not flooding her with texts every time she wakes up, not dying for opportunities to talk to her, but whenever you get one, you take full advantage of it.
You make her happy, in her eyes, that makes you a strong secure man, almost like the idea image of man she fantasizes about.