A trend #WorstBeatingOfMyLife is currently catching virus on Twitter and it is about Nigerians sharing the worst beating they ever received in their lives.
So many users on the popular social media App, have taken their time to give narrations of the wrongdoings they engaged in while growing up, which earned them serious beatings from their superiors.
*** I bought a porn CD The disk was white, so i used a marker to write PASSION OF CHRIST on it. I don’t know how it got out of my CHEMISTRY TEXTBOOK (ABABIO) But our CRS teacher saw passion of christ, took it and played on projector for the whole class
*** #WorstBeatingOfMyLife was when I changed my primary school result from 22nd to 2nd postion. My Dad beat me like thief that stole salt.
*** #WorstBeatingOfMyLife was one Sunday morning when I woke up angry at the world and kept giving attitude….my dad beat me, I ran into the bathroom and was in-between the toilet and the wall before he stopped and said we’ll continue after church
*** I nd my junior bro were playing hide nd seek one day, he went to hide inside our deep freezer, cos dere was no light. I found out ,locked it and went to play with my friends… I lost d key and we couldn’t open till mum and dad got back Guys I got d
*** I remember d day I said dat my Neighbours food tastes better Dan my mums food in d presence of dad and mum, . Mum didn’t do anything she just smiled and went out….. Dad called me to his room I chop water hose 4 body ehn.. Las las na mumsy beg 4 me
*** Back in the day Mum sent me and my younger brother to go grind beans for Moi Moi, we got there dropped it in the line and went to play ball. We got home about 4 hrs later and behold Moi Moi was ready
*** Was doing hide and seek with my siblings. Got eyes tied with black cloth. Popsy returned and I grabbed him shouting ‘I catch you, I catch you’. Well, long story short, I took two tablets of paracetamol that night.\
*** Mine was the day i stole my dad’s money and bought phone with it. Baba came to school, stripped me to my undies and tossed me in the car. He gave me the option of telling him the truth before we get home and waiving the impending doom but my stronghead didn’t allow me to see the sense in it. He whipped the evil spirit out of me, he then locked me in the storage room stark Unclad with no food till late in the night when mom returned to rescue my exhausted self.
*** Instead of going to lesson, my younger brother and i went to game house, played game into the dead of the night. The yeye game owner had no wall clock and curtains so u wont see that time is going. Omo d beating i got that day eh my body peeled and i couldn’t sit for days
*** Me and my fellow children in the hood were playing hide and seek. I was given the role of a father while Tutu was appointed as my wife. Later I was given a tire as my ride. Along the lime, I drove my wife Tutu to one dark corner and we started doing what mummy and daddy does. Tutu father observed her disappearance and decided to trace us. Voom, he flash his light and caught us red handed.. Let me leave the conclusion till another day
*** The worst beating of my life was when I opened our dad’s radio and removed that engine that rotate cassettes and used it to make fan, I made 3 angle frame and inserted at top of the engine, I used 2 wires to connect to a battery. Gbam! My fan works (I became an engineer amongst my friends) but the radio was dead. When my dad returned home and saw my handiwork, he experimented the concept of “corrective punishment” with me
*** Oh..mine was an April Fool’s prank…on my way home from school..I bought eggs,dirtied my clothes, used
bandages from school clinic which I stained with red ink. Some yards to the house,i cracked the eggs ,put them in my mouth and let em dribble down my chin. With a mudafvcked up look on my face,I entered the sitting room and fell down screaming ‘mummy’. Unfortunately,mumsy was with a friend and on seeing me they both yelled and came running. I allowed them to yank me up and I opened my EYES and yelled ‘April fool’ with egg yolk dribbling everywhere. Their reactions were instantaneous and synchronized as if they rehearsed it beforehand. They both dropped me and I never saw the two slaps(mum-forehand,her friend backhand) till they exploded in my face. The slap-fest continued from both women till around after the 10th slap,my mumsy now remembered say I be her pikin and snarled at the other woman saying ‘do u think ur beating a goat ni’? And she punctuated it with another slap. I couldn’t sleep that night cuz my face looked like I was stung by a 1000 bees. For 3 days after,my brothers dey call me ‘puff puff’ face!
Was only about 11 years old and my elder sister was about 13 years old. She had started bringing out ‘small small’ boobs.
We had a fist fight at home and somehow I gave her a blow on one of those tiny boobs, guess it was very painful for her as she started crying so hard and loud.(perhaps it was unintentional or maybe it was just me aiming to act out one of the Bruce Lee films i had watched, can’t really remember). But what I surely remember till date is what followed afterwards.
As the devil would have it, Popsie walked in from work at that very moment and found her crying.
Asked what happened and she told him I gave her a blow on her breast.
“Whaaaaaaat!!” Popsie thundered!!
He was uninterested in what had caused the fight, he dragged me into his room, pulled off his lacoste belt,
And the beating I received that day remains in my memory.
And at 11, that was the day I realised that there was something extra special about a woman’s boobs.